Wednesday, July 8, 2009


It has been a tough week. I am discouraged about my life. I am not sure why.
Perhaps it in unending debt? The job has gotten too busy and demanding? The struggle with singleness yet surrounded by men I should not consider? The not understanding the bible and issues of faith? Or is it my horrible walk with God? The latter I think.

I want to be sold out to God but things keep getting in the way. It is easy to be distracted, to have doubts, and questions with no answers or it seems like that.

How to serve and love the Lord with my whole heart soul and strength.

Ps 42:11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.
Proverbs 8:22-31 Wow.. I am not sure I understand. Wisdom was at the beginning.. So wisdom is Christ?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Pondering My Path

Proverbs 4:18 But the path of righteous is like the new dawn, that shine brighter and brighter until the full day.

The path of the believer is one of increasing light. MacArthur Study bible..

Does this mean that God will not hide from us the path we are to be on? Another commentary says the path of the just grows better and brighter all the time.. Macdonald (Believers Bible Commentary)

This probably does not mean there will be no trials or sufferings.. Or does it mean our works get brighter and brighter.. (seeking truth)... I am probably mistaken..

I am realizing the majority of paths I have taken are the wrongs ones...I want to be on the righteous path for the rest of my life... God willing.

Monday, July 6, 2009


1John 5:13,14 trying to comprehend it tonight.

so that I may know that you have eternal life

Eph 3:12 in whom we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him.

Confidence before the Lord.. How does this relate to what I am studying in that Jame Macdonald book 'Gripped by the Greatness of God".

Isaiah 6:5 Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of Hosts

Does Salvation allow us into Gods presence by the death of his Son?

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Contemplating Baptism

Well... the church I am attending is having a baptism in at the end of the month.. The question is: should I get baptized? It does say in the scripture repent and be baptized in the name of the Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins..

The issue is:: I have been baptized before... several times in fact
1. Church in Anaheim: as a teenager... of course.. this was a cult.. I called on the name of the Lord and was 'saved'.. Didn't really know who Jesus was or what he did for me..But I was a follower of Witness Lee because I liked the feeling of belonging.
2. messianic congregation: because know I knew I needed a savior... Yeshua..Jesus as the messiah.. who was definitely not my Lord.
3. mikvah: as a conservative jewish convert at the University of Judaism..It was supposedly as 'spiritual' cleansing.. immerse naked in the water.. fully 3 times, say some prayers, woman was present as well to make sure I fully went under as some rabbi's (behind a wall) to witness the act.
4. fundamentalist baptist: because I acknowledge again my need for a savior and that my following of the jewish faith was flawed.. I was also told now that I was 'saved' I needed to be a member of the church. Members had to be baptized. Jesus was not my Lord then as well.

So... should I or shouldn't I? Also.. I attend this HUGE Harvest Bible Chapel and do not really know anyone that well. I have started to make a few friends. You are supposed to go to the front and talk with a elder about it.. do they know how awkward this is or scary? These people do not know me.. Should I wait for 100% assurance that this time it is for real? Pastors... they intimidate me...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Don't Be Fooled, The Pew Won't Save You! by Bob Jennings

Good Stuff.

Salvation: my confidence grows.

Friday, July 3, 2009


I was listening to and they mentioned this verse..
Titus 1:16
They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him, being detestable and disobediant and worthless for any good deed..

This was me.... I did not even know where the book of Titus was I had not looked at it in so long.

Salvation: Exam yourselve

I thought I was a believer in the Messiah for many years.. He was always in my life but definitely taking the back seat. I did not agree with many things in the bible but did acknowledge my need for a savior. My behavior was not right before God and my life was my own. My sin was overwhelming me.. It was getting easier and easier to not live according to Gods laws which I did not really know anyway. The bible was quickly only becoming a 'suggestion' for living. I was finally confronted with my lack of christian walk and faith in Gods word. I had started to doubt I was saved.. I then decided to trust in Him for my salvation and make him the Lord of my life. I asked God to change my mind to made it agree with his. I had thought he did. I started to have joy in my life for the first time.. like.. ever. Then doubts started..
Was it real..??

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lordship Salvation

It makes things clearer. I need to read it again when I am not so tired. It makes the Fourth Baptist Salvation seem ... weak..

A Fourth Baptist Salvation

How do we become a Christian?

We have seen that Christianity in its essence is first and foremost Jesus Christ, and a personal relationship with Him. Let me suggest three steps which all of us must take in order to have a personal relationship with Christ:

  1. There Is Something For Us To Admit.

    All of us must be ready to admit that we are sinners, that our sins have separated us from our God, that we must turn from our sins and that we need a Savior.

    For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin. (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
    But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. (Isaiah 59:2)
    Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent. (Acts 17:30)
    And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. (1 John 4:14)

    It is only as we admit our needy condition that we are ready to receive the solution provided by Jesus Christ.

    When Jesus heard it, He said to them, those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance. (Mark 2:17)
  2. There Is Something For Us To Believe

    We must believe that Jesus Christ is who He claimed to be - the Son of God and God the Son, and the Savior whom we admit to needing. In Jesus of Nazareth, God became man and laid down His life on the cross as a ransom for our lost souls.

    We must believe in Christ’s incarnation (the eternal Son was made flesh); His crucifixion (the Son of God was made sin, i.e., an offering for sin); and His resurrection (the crucified Savior was raised to life bodily and physically as a vindication of His person and work).

    In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)
    And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)
    For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:21)
    I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive for evermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death. (Revelation 1:18)

    Of course there is more to the Christian faith than these basic components, but these are at the very center of the truth we are called to believe.

  3. There Is Something For Us To Do

    Admitting our need as sinners and believing that Jesus has come and died to be our Savior still leaves us one step short of having the necessary relationship with Him.

    We must act to receive Him into our lives as our own personal Savior.

    "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" (Acts 2:37)
    "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" (Acts 16:30)
    But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name. (John 1:12)
Is there a simple "picture" of how to do this?

Yes! Perhaps the clearest picture we have of what this looks like is in Revelation 3:20. Jesus says: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me."

Jesus calls us to "hear His voice" and "open the door." Jesus "stands" at the threshold of our life speaking and knocking. If we have heard His voice in the text of Scripture defining the shape of our need as sinners and affirming that He is the Savior from sin, and if we admit that He is right about us and believe that He is who He claimed to be, then He calls us to "open the door."

We must invite Him in from the threshold outside our life into the dining room inside our life. Then we are given the gracious promise: "I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." This is a glorious picture of shared joys, reciprocal fellowship, forgiven sins and eternal salvation!

From our heart

If you have not already done so, we urge you to receive this gracious gift which the crucified and risen Christ waits to give you at this moment. Do you hear His voice? Then open the door! You have this promise: "Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Romans 10:13).

Making such a decision is never the end, but it is an indispensable beginning. This is life’s most critical decision, and if you choose to make it, please grant us the privilege of knowing that. We would delight to help you in your spiritual growth once you decide to enter the Christian faith: "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the Word, that you may grow thereby" (1 Peter 2:2).

There is no Jesus as Lord and Savior.. We only acknowledge, recieve, believe, and turn once toward him. Does the King of the Universe care what I do with my life? To Paul.. he was both Christ and Lord...

Messianic Quest

Here's the Gospel, the Good News, in a nutshell: And, brothers, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you, which also you have received, and in which you stand; by which you also are being kept safe, if you hold fast the word which I preached to you, unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received, that Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures. (1 Corinthians 15:1-4)

In order for a Jew to be saved he must believe that Jesus died for his sins, that He was buried, and that He rose bodily from the dead. The exclusivity of this way was emphasized by Peter in his address to an audience of Jewish listeners: And there is salvation in no other One; for there is no other name under Heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12).

While attending Adat Hamaschiah.... I did believe that Yeshua died for my sins... It did not change my life though.. I (and others) got caught up in Jewish rituals, feast, and holidays. I got caught up so much is the 'trappings' I wanted to officially become a jew and move to Israel..
make 'Aliyah' go up.... it was true calling of a jew... how screwed up is that.. I wrote off debt to go. and lied to some people.. how God honoring was that...

Romans 10

Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them."a]">[a] 6But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'b]">[b]" (that is, to bring Christ down) 7"or 'Who will descend into the deep?'c]">[c]" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,"d]">[d] that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."e]">[e] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."f]">[f]

I still remember being told when I was 16...all I had to do.. was say "O Lord Jesus" and I would be saved. I did not even know who Jesus was.. but the recovery church pointed this verse to me and said it was a done deal... 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.." It was a lie if there ever was one.. obviously they misunderstood the scriptures.

At work contemplating bigger things.

Trying to figure out salavation.. It is a free gift.. but how is one saved and how do you know for sure? My knowledge of the bible is weak at best.. who is correct? call on the name of the Lord and be saved? what does that really mean? What if I sin... and fall..? What if you only believe in Jesus was the substitutionary atonement for your sins but do not get the rest of the bible..