Is God good?

I sometime wonder... Is he really good? I have my doubts... I struggle with Gods word.

2 Samuel 7:28

And now, O Lord God, you are God, and your words are true, and you have promised this good thing to your servant.

Nahum 1:7

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble;he knows those who take refuge in him.

God knows us. He created us. We are doubters (at least I am).  Its okay to let the Lord know your doubt. Talk with him, share your struggle. 

Mark 9:24
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Immediately the father of the child cried out1 and said, “I believe;rhelp my unbelief!”

 ..

It's been years.. much time has passed. I have thought about you from time to time. Gone are the days of old.  I'm am no longer drinking the kool aide of Mega church land where you go to hear the music and listen to the cool preacher in skinny jeans trying to be hip and relevant. No more smoke and music so loud your ears hurt. No more flashing lights and being part of the video team. Exhausted.. tired.. lonely.. discouraged I left that land. Close to giving up on God. Was that all their was? Preachers that were surrounded by their 'people' and not shepherding the sheep. It was all about 'vision'. Toeing the line. No one could ask questions.  It was all about being apart of the 'team'. Are you in a small group? that was the key to life and solving all your troubles. Are you serving? Tithing? Giving your all to the mega church and its 'pastors' vision? Was there not more?

Since I left mega church land.. much has happened. Trying different churches out.. What was there... too stuffy. too far way, too  much like a story time and not about the word of God. Entering the land of discouragement and despair.. was my salvation real? was there a place for a single mid life adult? Could there be a place for me in Gods Kingdom?

Onword... New church.. new direction. Pierced by Gods word.

Your life is short, your duties many, your assistance great, and your reward sure; therefore faint not, hold on and hold up, in ways of well-doing, and heaven shall make amends for all

—Thomas Brooks

Prayer: Whats it all about.

Philippians 4:6
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God

In my current frame of mind... pleading with God and struggling with disappointment and discouragement when God does not answer. My emotions are all over the place.

I am not getting it. Nothing new there.
I pray.. ask.. and petition for others mainly and some for myself. I weep..the pain runs deep.

I pray.. not for money but changed hearts (mine included). I pray that God would meet the need of the people he has put in my life. I pray for lost souls. I pray for the desires of my heart. I am discouraged. I need a real relationship in my life. One with my maker. Where O Lord are you hiding?

High Places

Stunned by 2 Kings 17 today...
They also feared the LORD and appointed from among themselves all sorts of people as priests of the high places, who sacrificed for them in the shrines of the high places. 33So they feared the LORD but also served their own gods, after the manner of the nations from among whom they had been carried away.

convicted...

Canceling the Record of Debt

I am going through Colossians these days. I wrote the following to a friend.

Colossians.2.

13And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

It got me thinking of what I would do if someone paid all my debts off including the house, cards, loans, taxes, everything even the collection account . I would be praising God and asking this guy to marry me.. (too much about guys I know). Immediately, I would be free from monthly obligations.
What would I do? I get a pretty decent pay check.. How would I spend it now? On myself alone?, retirement, save it, a bigger house, new car, plastic surgery...
What... would I do.. go into more debt? It would cheapen his gift.

Would I give generously.. because of what someone I love did for me? Would I give half my check? all of it? Live simply so I could give more away?: How would I respond to this.. someone bought me out from the slavery of debt and set me free,. I want to be a generous giver.. not there yet. Will God answer this prayer. (generous And Faithful in my giving?)

Its about Him.

A friend gave me this devotional today. Wow..

"Jesus? Oh Yes, I remember Jesus, but right now I'm trying to figure out why my future seems so bleak and why my friends seem so unconcerned about my loneliness. I just don't see how his death and imminent return make much difference."
I read this an said how does this woman know my thoughts!.

"This day isn't about me at all. It's about him: his sinless life, death, resurrection, ascension and reign and the sure promise of return. Its the gravity of his life that should attract my thought towards him." E. Fitzpatrick

Its not about me.. even though I think about me all the time. It is His Life, death, resurrection, ascension and reign that matter!

Reading: Comforts from the Cross by Elyse Fitzpatrick

An Unremarkable Faith

An Unremarkable Faith

This blog was really encouraging me today. I think he has hit it on the nose.
Faithful: something to desire and strive for. Will I be faithful? I have this character trait of wanting to run away when the going gets tough: Change a church, change a job, seek new friends, strike out in anger, anything but faithful. Life is boring so do something stupid regardless of the consequences or seeking God in the manner. I have that down pat.

As I grow in grace, please Lord change me to something to reflect you and not me.